Things That Make Me Uncomfortable

Ok, my BadAss Cousin is "encouraging" my to type up another post. And by encouraging, I mean that if she was here, there would most definitely be a gun to my head. So here it is, post number 3: Things that make me uncomfortable.

1) This person! See, those of you that follow her may think she's all cute and funny and stuff, but you don't know her like I do. You have no idea...

That would be her and I. I can't remember why she was threatening me. I've blocked that out...

See? There's a reason I call her BadAss Cousin. She's going to hurt me if I don't get this posted in the next 70 minutes. That makes me uncomfortable.

2) Yesterday, BA Cousin and I were going for a walk with my kids in tow. Apparently my 3 year old was having non of it. She wanted to ride on my shoulders, but that little princess is not so little. I tried for a while and then had to put her down. She is 3 going on 13, or as I like to call her, a "threenager". This girl is sassy and is beginning to learn the art of saying shit to get what she wants. Anyways, this sweet little princess looked up as me and as matter of factly as possible said: 

"Mommy, I'm gonna bury you." 

"What?" I said, "Where"

"In dat grass over der."

I didn't even know how to react to that. I slept with one eye open last night.

3) Playing Pass the Phone at family functions. Ok, this one I need to careful about. This could be a sensitive topic if any one of my family members besides BA Cousin sees this. 

You know what? Eff it. It makes me uncomfortable, the world should know. Maybe if someone sees this, it will stop. Unlikely. So I have another family member who decided to move to an entirely different continent, which is super cool. I love that she decided to follow a calling and everything, but here's the deal. I can't handle these calls to family functions. This person calls while we are all out at Grandma's and then we all have to play "Pass the Phone" where everyone talks to her for like 5 minutes. Please don't get me wrong, I love her, but how much is there really to talk about each time? It's too much pressure!

While we're all being honest over here, I'm going to just let it all out. Another family member puts herself in charge of making sure EVERYONE has talked. I usually run and hide. Last time, I pretended to be on a phone call until I could pretend no longer.

4) Pedicures. I HATE pedicures! I don't understand why women are all like "Hey girlfriend! Lets have a girls day! We'll drink some mimosas and get pedicures!" Please refer to the image directly above for me reaction to that statement. I hate them because I have weird big toes. I will spare you a picture. These foot ladies just go in and dig around and clip and brush and polish. I hate people touching my feet! And you know what I hate even more? The leg massage that goes with it. One time, I went in for a manicure and go talked in to a pedicure. Well guess what. I hadn't shaved my legs. I thought they did feet only, but no. Here this lady was commenting on my weird big toes and rubbing my stubbly legs. It's been a good 10 years, and I would still list this as one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. 

5) I'm not quite sure why I struggled to come up with five things that make me uncomfortable, but here I am. This last thing occurred to me today while I was shopping with my kids. A friend of mine had called to chat and set up a time to get together. While we were in the middle of a conversation, this lady walked by me pushing a cart with two kids while the other tagged along. I had Little E in the baby part and she stopped to make googly eyes at him, which would have been fine, except for I was occupied. She started talking about his cheeks and how cute he was. Then she started talking about how beautiful my kids' eyes were and how cute they all were.

Now don't get me wrong, my kids are freakin adorable. I can see why people would be stopped in their tracks, but it just made me reel really awkward to try to listen to this friend vent about something while this worker was talking to my kids. I didn't want to be a jerk and keep walking, but come on people! When the parent is on the phone, just give them a smile and keep on walking! 

I suppose I should have asked my friend to pause a moment while I interacted with this lady, but I didn't because I couldn't get a word in then! The whole thing was uncomfortable!

Alright, now I'm done.